Who copied who?
Writer: Patrick Teoh
Published: Fri, 06 May 2011
By the time you read this the good folks in the little red dot, Singapore, would have been to the polls and either a) elected the almost all-powerful PAP again as their government of choice, or b) elected a much younger, more change-oriented government from one of the opposition parties like The Workers Party or the Singapore Democratic Party.
Of course, if you are a realistic Singaporean or an interested Malaysian, you would put your money on the PAP retaining their stronghold on the reins of government in one of the most successful countries in the world.
Now, the reason why I decided to start this column by writing about Singapore? A few days ago I received a message from a Singaporean senior citizen who was quite amused that for the first time in election history the PAP dished out free nasi lemak to all the attendees at one of the PAP rallies.
This caused me to reflect that things were beginning to feel quite similar to what our election tactics are like here in Malaysia. You know, freebies given out during run-ups to elections.
Although we seem to be able to do it with much better style la. They only give out free nasi lemak. We give out free Tupperware and fully loaded goodie bags that are said to contain large ang-pows, depending which constituency you’re in. Oh and don’t forget the new community halls and elections here in Bolehland were all copied from THEM!
What? How can? What tokking you man? No meh? the Singaporean asked.
Take a look at what your leaders do. You think we copied this “give them stuff only when elections are near” system from you?
No la. You copied from us. You see ah, I give you one example. If my HDB flat is in a PAP-controlled area, I get regular upgrading works. New lifts, new paint jobs, improved void-deck facilities etc. But if it was in an opposition-controlled area I don’t get lor.
Also, opposition-area HDB prices will be just so slightly lower than PAP ones. Even if they are just across the road from each other. You all also same, right? Opposition states don’t get federal funds for building schools, roads, water treatment plants etc.
And then now I notice that your leaders always threaten you flers, right? Recently, your prime minister even said that you Chinese flers if don’t vote for BN will have no representation in government. And then you all sure die one.
Over here we have been threatened so often by you-know-who that we are quite used to it now. Even recently he said if we vote opposition we will have five years to suffer and then we shall surely repent one. Ya la, he used the word repent some more.
Your YBs also like that right? But maybe they don’t say REPENT la cos your English not so good, right? But same thing lor.
But I suppose there is something that maybe our PAP flers learn from you all la. I remember reading somewhere that during elections, general elections or by-elections, your BN people provide transport for supporters one, right?
Like they bus in people from all over the place. Even when they are not voters in that area. Just to make show and intimidate (this a big word I know and learn from young. I am Singaporean ma) the other flers. And then I am told that sometimes your flers even recruit supporters from beyond the grave hor? That one I must tabik you all la. We have not learn that one yet.
But this time our PAP flers also provide transport for supporters leh. Last time, when they more confident time – okay la I wanted to say arrogant but they might be keeping tab on me lor – they all say, “Ha? Want to come to rally ah? Take MRT la.”
But this time they say, “Come, come we have air-con coach for you. Never mind you from Ang Mo Kio and this coach is going to Aljuneid, come la. Show support. Some more got free nasi lemak.”
I am told that your flers always want to play race card during election time, right? That one also you learn from us one what. Ya what. You think you all invent one ah? It’s from our Senile … I mean Senior Minister one last time. The fler tell us if Chinese don’t have enough hor, then Singapore sure cannot tahan one. You flers use the same tactic right? Only different race lor.
Another thing that we are same is the big money that all our YBs (of course we don’t call them that la) earn. Did you know that our PM earns eight times more than the president of the USA ah?
Your YBs don’t earn that kind of salary la, but we all know they all also damn rich, right? We are told that our flers get paid big money because it keeps them away from corruption lor.
I think your people tell you that they are rich because their family members, sons, daughters, wives all damn good business people ma. Just because they are in politics doesn’t mean their talented family members cannot do business ma. Can right?
Actually hor, we all are so same same in so many ways la. Our young flers all want to see change. They say the old flers have had it their way for too long already and that things are not fair in this little red dot. So they go out and campaign and hope to win for change.
But our older people are just like yours. We all every time say, “Hiyah! Waffor want to change? Waffor rock the boat. Ok what.
Can earn living. Some more got no earthquakes and tornadoes. And the food here is damn good ma.”
And I think just like in your place, the old flers outnumber the younger ones or are about the same. So the old flers vote to stay same same and then they also convince some of the young ones to say WAFFOR. And so the results also same-same lor. Or like you say, sama-sama.
(The above was written while totally under the influence of non-alcoholic beverages)